Go right or go left? Neither path seems clear, so I stay straight. There is no way to know when things will change, but they do. Abruptly. Life is no longer clear. I grasp for anything that feels familiar, but nothing is anymore. My life has been changed before my very eyes. At first I hate it, I loathe the fact that I no longer am in control. But slowly grace and forgiveness seem to work their way into the mix.
It seems as though curve balls are just an ornament in life. Without them we continue stumbling on the path we have chosen. Without them new doors are never allowed to make their way open. We are afraid of the splinter filled doors. We are afraid of the sounds the old creaky hinges will make. We just assume keep them nailed shut for fear of what lies behind each one.
It’s been almost a year. “We’ve decided to downsize our company.” The most dreadful words I could have imagined at that stage in life. A fairly ‘fresh’ graduate of Oklahoma State and the most recent member of the Unemployment Club. Blessing. Not exactly the word I would have used to describe my situation.
Almost one year later. Blessing: the kind that makes your heart jump out before you. Door number one: blessing. I was so afraid of what hid behind each one I could not bare the thought of letting go of my ‘comfortableness.’ Yes, my fear of the unknown still makes me want to grasp for the things that feel familiar, but I now know that whatever it is that hides behind each door will always turn out to be some sort of a blessing.
I have told many of you about my ‘door number one.’ But for those unaware, it consists of the thousands of images I poor myself over, the noise my camera makes every time I click the shutter, the story each one of my pictures tell – both to you as well the stories engraved in each frame, stories only I know. I am blessed. Blessed by my door number one.
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